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Erika Fore is a Certified Health Coach and the owner of Ahimsa Wellness Practice.She’s appeared on Fox21 News and nationally syndicated radio programs as the go-to wellness guru.Maybe you’re Dad’s goofy friend who gives them pony rides.Maybe you’re just that guy Mom’s dating who takes them out for ice cream.” No matter how much you might like your honey’s kids (and hey, let me be the first to say, it’s okay if you don’t really—affection can take time), always remember they already have two parents, and they’re not in the market for another one.A loving parental relationship may come with time, but whether it does or doesn’t, let a relationship grow on its own into whatever feels right.We make a beautiful family, and we love each other. Because while dating someone with kids can be amazing in so many ways, don’t ever think it’ll be easy. You wanted to get away for the weekend but you forgot it’s over Mother’s Day because, newsflash, you’re not a mom?
Be aware of some red flags up front: ask your new sweetie if they ever had counseling after the divorce (because if not, expect resentments to survive years after the divorce and beyond), ask what the relationship is like with their ex (hatred and refusal to talk to their ex is no bueno, and it’s also not great if their ex is treated like their best friend with whom they discuss everything).Resources: If you start dating someone with kids and it starts getting serious, .Get some books on step-parenting (this one’s my personal fave for ladies) and look online for some support forums—Facebook has lots.My relationship with them, their father and, well, their mother if I’m being real, has given me tremendous and beautiful opportunities to learn and grow.You’ll see your relationship and communication skills blossom (and maybe your gray hairs), and if you can find your place in a new family, who doesn’t benefit from more love?” I’d totally buy that Playboy mansion, keep Heff drunk through his twilight years, and get all the best stories out of him.if you’re the owner of a uterus, people generally expect you’ll start popping out your own little DNA clone the second you can, because who doesn’t want to be a mother, amirite?? Eventually, you’ll become deaf to this and learn to calmly say, “Nope, my partner’s kids are more than enough for me.” Caveat: sometimes becoming parental with someone else’s kids on the regular can make you change your mind, and that’s totally okay—just communicate with your partner and be sure they’re on the same page.Boundaries are the key to success between your playmate and their ex.If your lovey has created healthy boundaries and has good communication with their ex (or at least tried—not everyone’s ex is a picnic to get along with, which may be why they’re no longer together), I say full “steam ahead, cap’n!She lives in Colorado with her partner and two kids, where she loves to read, cook and get upside-down in acro yoga.Every once in a while, I like to poll my readers on the Nerd Love Facebook Page and on Twitter to find out what issues they feel are holding them back when it comes to dating.