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When you see that gorgeous woman and you're not "socially warmed up", you'll almost always lock up, not knowing what to do.. It's just important not to beat yourself up for it. The strangers shouldn't even be beautiful women (creating pressure).

Heck, it can be even more fun to talk to some older people that may have a nice story or two to share.

I've also spent a bit of time trying to find out why I have trouble connecting.In the past if a woman that was romantically interested in me was at my place, I would single-mindedly pursue sex. I was super shy and socially awkward from the start. I noted what my social weaknesses where and read articles to fix them. A few won't answer because they're so in shock that a customer would do that. And most will smile and appreciate that you actually acknowledge them as a human being.I realized how easy it was to become friends with people if you and they are in a place regularly like class, church, hobby groups, etc. I know -- stupid, silly..EASY and before long, you'll be doing it very naturally and you'll be amazed at what this does for you if you have issues with social anxiety or shyness.The next step is to look the people you pass in the eye and smile. Connection doesn't have to be verbal to be soothing to our tribal-primate brains.Then try eye contact with women when walking through the mall or around your campus. Next, nodding and thinking an unspoken "message" to them, such as, "You look really pretty." Next, say "hi" to a few with a smile. Connection and companionship release healthy levels of dopamine and other “feel good” neurochemicals, such as oxytocin, which help balance us.Connection helps reduce the hormone cortisol, which can otherwise weaken our immune system under stress. I don't normally watch TV, but being close to them helped. And last but definitely not least is the family dog. She's a virgin and it's probably a good idea for us to never have sex, given her history.“It’s much less wear and tear on us if we have someone there to help regulate us,” explained psychologist/neuroscientist James A. When recovering users force their attention away from their habitual “relief,” their reward circuitry looks around for other sources of pleasure. But it's so liberating for me to let go of the pressure I put on myself to have sex.Wounds heal twice as fast with companionship as compared to isolation.Warm touch between married couples reduces various measures of stress.There are a lot of places where you can get used to being out and around people but are pretty nonthreatening as far as social interaction goes.Hang out and read in a library or bookstore, or take a magazine to Starbucks or a park bench. I find that making stuff like this a habit helps get me out of my own head and makes me feel like more of a member of society.

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  1. Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.