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So with the help of counseling, I got him on board with dirty talk during sex (because it's important for me) and I worked (and still work) on telling him what to do when we bone.He can't read my body language, so a lot of the improvement came down to me being more comfortable with giving him instructions.In a recent column, you said you never hear from married couples whose sex life got better and more frequent over the years. My wife and I were married 24 years ago, and we are currently having more sex and better sex than we did in the first years of our marriage.There are many reasons why, including therapy, antidepressants, and weight loss and subsequent surgery—but I would have to say that the big reason is communication.That he was willing to see a counselor and work on sex were also good signs.If I had a partner who was unwilling to talk about sex or try to fix it, I'd kick his ass to the curb without blinking.
We were (and still are) introverts with poor communication skills and anxiety/depression/mental-health issues.
Practice, Practice, Practice My sex life improved after marriage.
I am a straight male with a highly stigmatized kink.
"Here's something I've never seen in my inbox: a letter from someone explaining how sex with their partner was infrequent, impersonal, uninspired, unimaginative, etc.
at first but—holy moly—the sex got a fuck of a lot better after the wedding," I wrote in my response to IMDONE.