If you are not taking antiviral meds, when you start to feel prodrome (a “funny” itchy feeling that occurs before an outbreak), stop having skin to skin contact.
You will be quite contagious during prodrome and outbreaks. Genital Herpes can appear anywhere on the boxer shorts area of one’s lower body.
I have gone through “the conversation” a million times in my mind.
After going through the normal flip out and that my dating life would now consist of Ben and Jerry’s and DVD’s every Saturday night, I’m ready to get out there again.
I have seen men post on various dating sites where they come right out on their profile stating they have herpes.
And before I found out about my little gem, I would immediately think, “not in my backyard”. I thought that if I meet someone, and there seems to be some sort of vibe, I would have the talk pretty quickly, possibly even the first date.
To protect a partner (who does not yet have herpes), there are several things you can do.
And if you do have symptoms, they are easily controlled with the use of drugs.
Major bulletpoints: You trust him and feel he needs the truth if the relationship is to progress. He will not catch it since you take drugs and carefully monitor the situation.
He can ask you questions, research it, digest it, but understand that it’s not a big deal.
All of those things might be sensitive and relevant, but they don’t have to be dealbreaker-type issues if dealt with effectively.
I wouldn’t put it in a profile, I wouldn’t say it on a first date, and I wouldn’t say it when slipping on a condom.