Bad things about chemistry dating
That’s the gift from your ex – the clarity of knowing what you want and need from a relationship! Attracting love, or giving your heart to someone is not easy. I asked her to lunch and the relationship took off. She then told me that there was an ex-boyfriend she still had issues with. We continued on and about three weeks later she told me she was returning to him. It’s extremely complicated because I met him a day after my 17th birthday, he had just gotten out of jail. He started to talk to another girl (he was known for being a man whore before meeting me). This friend is a terrible influence on him and I have never liked him.
But, if you are to have a healthy, loving, fulfilling relationship, you must find a way to let go completely and cleanly, so that your ex is a part of your history, but is no longer a wound in your heart. (he is not a bad guy, he has had a rough life due to his parents adopting him, kicking him out when he was 16, and never being there for him for any reason.) I ended up getting pregnant with his baby and due to complications I lost it. I ended up packing his things up over the next few days and took them to him.
No matter what you did or did not do, your ex was, is and will continue to be a person with certain behaviors, habits, thoughts and ways of doing relationships. Forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that her behavior was not your fault.
Understand that all that she did, the good and the bad, comprise the totality of this person. Because you were connected to the whole person, you got to experience the good side and the bad side as well.
Instead of looking back at what you had, look forward to having more of that in your future.
Do you have a relationship like this, one that you still long for?
Or worse yet, are you in another relationship, still longing for and fantasizing about that one that got away? You let go of a relationship like this by first understanding why you hold on. When your partner in that relationship was at his best, he met all of your needs. If he could have been that way with you 100 percent of the time, rather than just sometimes, you would still be in the relationship. You have trouble letting go because you never succeeded in making your ex fulfill your needs completely and yet you believe you could and should have been able to. The only problem was that she could only treat you well part of the time.
Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart. It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear she doesn’t care about you.
It may be even easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done.